The New Piece of Brennan's Sight Journey

Brennan's vision has been a challenge since he was born; his prematurity and underdeveloped eyes, then compounded by needing so much oxygen for so long did quite a bit of damage.  It's been quite a journey trying to understand what he sees and what he needs to see best.  Each stage brought different pieces of information, levels of understanding and ways of trying...
  

When he was a baby, we relied on the doctors and tests to tell us what he could see and when he needed more surgery to help reconstruct his eyes from his retina detachment and strabisimus but we kinda needed to wait til he grew up more and his eyes developed more to learn more.

When he was a toddler, a lot of other issues came into play that clouded the picture - as he started walking, we learned he had a balance disorder, but that also looked like it was because of his trouble seeing.  He loved to bounce and we learned he had sensory processing disorder and needs high input, but it sure looked like he was trying to move his head & body to keep up with his racing eyes.  We also started noticing that there might be problem with his vision field (not just the strength of his glasses prescription).  He started talking (a bit delayed) then we could FINALLY ask him what he sees!  He had some cognitive delays that impacted his comprehension of our questions & his answers, speech delays and mumbling that made it hard for us and frustrating for him.  We did learn that he could make out some images from a distance, but to focus, he needed to see the object from the bottom left part of his left eye.
 

When he was a preschooler, the schools and therapists got involved, along with daily learning at home.  There was a lot of focus on new learning that challenged him which (good & bad) really brought out the deficits and the need to figure out how to help him communicate.  He worked on learning academically and relaying what he was learning.  We kept trying to sort out sensory, balance, vision, possible cognitive delay, emotions and behaviors as he faced new experiences, expectations and challenges.  Some things are easy to sort out, some crossed issues and others we're still not sure...  School introduced several new techniques, large print and even a large touch screen computer!  He was so eager to learn, willing to try new things, excited, but also got frustrated and wanted to do more at times.  He mastered recognizing his letters, numbers and colors!  His brain grew so much but couldn't get it out fast enough!  He really made so much progress during preschool!

Now, he's a Kindergartner!  We're continuing to sort things out, determine the best strategies to help him learn, navigate the world - and he really is doing great!  He can walk down steps, put on shoes, find things he's looking for by himself.  This year in school he's focusing on reading print and writing which are really hard for him.  He can use the computer well, but we tried large print, writing with dark markers and haven't been successful to his standards yet.  He can't read what he's written, or tell what he's drawn afterward and gets disappointed.  The books are blown up so large, the papers are clumsy to use for him and he's gotten frustrated.  Don't get me wrong, he's such a happy kid still and it's hard to see him get frustrated!  The newest thing this year we've tried...Braille!  He was getting pretty frustrated and he is so smart, we needed to try something else.  We talked with the National Federation of the Blind representative and the school vision specialist introduced it this week and he embraced it!

I'm not going to lie, I was excited about him trying Braille when we were first talking about it, but now that it's a reality, it took a bit of acceptance.  I'm so thrilled for him to have a great method to read and write!  I'm also a bit overwhelmed at needing to learn another language and the thought of another adjustment for our family.  The day he learned about Braille, we talked about it at dinner and Hailey was so excited.  She had just learned about Helen Keller and how important Braille is for people to communicate!  She asked Brennan what class he learned it in so she could join him one day to learn too...precious girl!  I've said it before, but she is the perfect sister for these kids. :)  After he get's a good handle on it (or probably while he's learning too!) we're going to all learn together so he can read to us!  Of course, he'll continuing using his vision too, but knowing Braille will make communicating less frustrating for him - he'll have another tool and not have to work so hard at it.  It's another adjustment, but we've been through quite a bit of adjustments already and are starting to know the drill.  Don't get too comfortable with status quo - there's always something else in store!  

2014 Year in Review

The greatest thing about New Years for me is a time for reflection and looking forward to a newness!
I'm so thankful things are slowing down and I've actually HAD time for reflection!  2014 overall has been a year of exploration, discovery, and understanding in a lot of different ways.  Big milestones...at the tail end of 2013, we welcomed our newest...and last addition, Owen!; we became farmers in training with a much bigger garden and 10 ducks; I graduated with my MSW; Brooke & Brennan started general education classrooms with support; Hailey started 3rd Grade; Landon's continuing SXI at the local special education classroom.

Apart from those type of milestones, we've also reached a sweet spot as a family.  We're out of survival mode and assembly line care (mama's of multiples will understand!) and Brooke, Brennan and Landon are really growing into their own which is so helpful!  As they're growing, I'm noticing how different (and a little similar) they are.  And Hailey...3rd Grade is the new middle school, I feel like!!!  This is the where the part about the year of exploration, discovery and understanding comes in...

Hailey, Hailey, Hailey...she is so compassionate and really in touch with her feelings!  I've seen such growth and maturity from 2nd grade - summer - 3rd grade....I'm a little worried about what next year looks like! :)  Thankfully her character is developing right along and we've been talking through things.  One night she told me - emotions are tough! AMEN Hailey! Sometimes they do too much of the talking too and they get you in trouble! :)  She had her first major fit with friends at school this past year and handled it like a champ - this is where the exploration and understanding for me comes into play...she's of little words when something's up and I want to make sure she always feels like her feelings, concerns and problems are just as important to talk about (she's said it doesn't seem like a big deal with the other things we've got going on...YIKES!).  Hailey's a critical thinker and also so creative!  We've also had great conversations about how laws are formed and how to get your voice heard, why we believe what we do and why others do.  She designs and redesigns things, repurposes things, plans our parties, etc.  Always keeps it fun around here!  

Brennan is one of the SWEETEST kids I have ever met!  However, he also has a hard time communicating his needs, frustrations, etc. which unfortunately come often as he wants to do typical things but his really poor vision, balance trouble, very impulsiveness gets in the way.  The more I discover and understand, the more we can practice situations to help them come easier next time.  He's so open to it right now and I really want to take advantage of it!  He also LOVES to be super silly, Thomas the Train, and has a great imagination - he's given each of our family members a Thomas the Train character name and everyone plays along! :)

Landon is growing leaps and bounds!  He has done so well medically this past year, I was almost nervous to write that! :)  Without the medical issues being an issue last year, he's also made a lot of developmental progress too!  He's bearing a lot of weight, standing all the way upright often (instead of hunched over), rolling around, getting up on all-fours, intentionally manipulating toys.  To anyone else, these might look like such basic things for a 5 year old, (and they are), but it's HUGE for Landon and for the other kids to see that he's still learning.  It gives us so much hope!  This is where the exploration,, discovery and understanding come in...learning what motivates him, best techniques, what he enjoys and how to get what he needs to continue making progress he needs.

Brooklyn is all in in whatever situation; she's sweet, hilarious, developing a sense of compassion, very independent and very strong willed.  She is in love with Annie, American Girls, Hailey :) and really can enjoy just about anything else!  She's doing really good in Kindergarten for what we expected and know that she'll repeat when she moves to the same elementary school Hailey goes to next year.  The structure and flow is really what we felt like was the biggest thing to master but she's doing really good with reading, and is loving school (and like's the responsibility of having homework right now)!  Brooke also has a great imagination - so many times I need to check if she's talking to me or her toys...generally it's not me :)  The discovery and understanding for Brooke is that all-in piece...she has a hard time regulating once she's crossed the line and the more I understand what triggers, how to snap her out, etc, the better for her and for me :)

Owen is full of life!  He is the perfect addition in many ways.  Each of the other kids have a unique relationship with him and it's so sweet to see!  Owen turned 1 on Dec 19th and started confidently walking ON his birthday! His favorite toy of everything is an old jack in the box, he gets giddy when it pops up! He's so curious, loving, and silly - the other kids love getting him laughing!

As I've learned and understood more about myself and the need and gift to just straight up, rely on God, there's been such a freedom.  A lot has happened in 2014, will continue happening in 2015 and on and as New Years' comes and go. My resolutions are to learn better ways to get through.  Not only get through but enjoy and do His work, in my community and in my family.  For 2015, I want to take time.  Simply put. Take time fueling my soul in His word, in community, in service, reflect and learn, be present, spend time together, understand what makes each child (and my husband!) tick, what they need, help them communicate it to me, grow up with good character, help me understand what I need and communicate it to those that love me, the list can go on.

In 2014, our family lost really special people and Hailey reminded me, what I told her a few years ago when some died, "People die, Mom...I'm really sorry, but remember, it just happens?"  Sounds insensitive, but it really wasn't.  We've talked about we're humans, we have a time here on earth and what matters is what we do with it.  We've reflected on the lives they lived and impact they've had on us.  That perspective is what my New Year's Resolution is about; creating deeper relationships, open understanding, aligning priorities.  Here's the New Year's Resolutions for Brennan, Hailey & Brooklyn - the red words are the important part of their dream/wish for the upcoming year.  Pretty interesting and gives us insight! :)

I've been blessed with a pretty awesome family to nurture into another year - here's to 2015!

March for Babies 2012!

Today was March for Babies.  It was actually quite an emotional day, thinking how things could've been - should've been with the statistics...we are so blessed with these babies and the path God has brought us!  We want to bring awareness to premature birth.  The obvious effects on the babies, and the challenges they will have as they grow that they shouldn't have to carry.  The burden of guilt mom's carry, that no matter how much people say that they didn't do anything wrong.  Only God's peace can ease that weight.  The effect the frailty has on families, any minute the premature baby can have a complication.  The effect this stress has on siblings, they can't always play with their brother/sister how their friends do.  The research this organization does hopes that one day all babies will be born healthy.

Can you imagine how awesome it would be to have 4 healthy toddlers running around, taking in their environment with all their senses!?  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade our kids for anything - I just wish they didn't have to deal with so much!  I wouldn't wish these challenges on any family and want to do whatever I can do make sure other families have healthy, long pregnancies with healthy, strong babies!

Today we celebrated the research that has been done and Brennan, Landon and Brooklyn's lives, yet achingly remembered Katelyn and the work that still needs to be done... 
 

 

We were so honored to be recognized with a plaque for being the 2011 Ambassador Family.  It's incredible how far the babies (and all of us!) have come since last year!

 

 Landon did so great! 

 

 Proud big sister! :)

They were running all over!  So amazing to see!  

Brooke and Brennan had so much fun together!

Thank you March of Dimes!!!!  We are so incredibly thankful for the research and awareness March of Dimes has done that has helped our family!

Ballet on a Rainy Day!

How do you keep 2 busy girls entertained on a cold rainy Saturday?  Break out Bella Ballerina and tutu's!  We found the whole Bella Ballerina kit at Goodwill complete with the teaching mat, bar and DVD!  We've watch this about 4 times today and the kids are having so much fun!  Brennan's even getting in on the action!

 

 Hailey was really into it, but Brooke looks like she's playing twister!

 

 She's getting so big! She's a little taller than Brennan :)

I'm so glad they're having fun together!  

Ok, so that's 1/2 the day....thankfully they're napping!  Now to figure out what to do the next 1/2 of the day! 

2 Year Adjusted Birthday!

Now that they're chronologically 2, the docs and therapists don't take their adjusted age into account, but we do!   If the crew would've gone full term, they should've been born today!

Happy 2nd Birthday (Adjusted)!!  

I think technically at their last assessment they were 2yr (20 months adjusted) and Brooke was at 22months, Brennan was between 15-17 months and Landon was at 6-9 months.  Regardless, we're incredibly proud of their progress!!  More on Landon tomorrow (pictures of his new equipment) but I wanted to get this up on the special day! 

I found this really comprehensive developmental checklist from University of Michigan's website.  By 2 years of age does your child:

Motor Skills

• drink from a straw (Brooke!)
• feed himself with a spoon (Brennan & Brooke!)
• help in washing hands (Brennan & Brooke!)
• put arms in sleeves with help (Brooke & Brennan!)
• build a tower of 3-4 blocks (Brooke & Brennan!)
• toss or roll a large ball (Brooke!)
• open cabinets, drawers, boxes (Brennan & Brooke!)
• operate a mechanical toy (Brennan & Brooke!)
• bend over to pick up a toy and not fall (Brennan & Brooke!)
• walk up steps with help (Brennan & Brooke!)
• take steps backward (Brennan & Brooke!)

Sensory and Thinking Skills

• like to take things apart (Brennan & Brooke!)
• explore surroundings (Brennan & Brooke!)
• point to 5-6 parts of a doll when asked (Brooke!)

Language and Social Skills

• have a vocabulary of several hundred words (Brooke-ish)
• use 2-3 word sentences (Brooke's really close!)
• say names of toys (Brooke)
• ask for information about an object (asks, "Shoe?" while pointing to shoe box) (Brooke!)
• hum or try to sing (Brooke!)
• listen to short rhymes (Brennan & Brooke!)
• like to imitate parents (Brennan & Brooke!)
• sometimes get angry and have temper tantrums (Brennan, Brooke & Landon - EVERYONE has this down! :)
• act shy around strangers (Brennan & Brooke!)
• comfort a distressed friend or parent (Brennan & Brooke!)
• take turns in play with other children (does any 2yr old?!  We're working on it!)
• treat a doll or stuffed animal as though it were alive (Brooke!)
• apply pretend action to others (as in pretending to feed a doll) (Brooke, Brennan with help!)
• show awareness of parental approval or disapproval for her actions (Brennan & Brooke!)
• refer to self by name and use "me" and "mine" (Brooke!)
• verbalize his desires and feelings ("I want cookie") (Brennan & Brooke!)
• laugh at silly labeling of objects and events (as in calling a nose an ear) (Brooke!)
• enjoy looking at one book over and over (Brennan & Brooke!)
• point to eyes, ears, or nose when you ask (Brooke!) 

Christmas in January? Yep...I'm behind

WOW, I've had this post started for 3 weeks! This year Christmas was so much fun! Hailey did her big sister job preparing Brennan, Landon & Brooke for Christmas! :)

Christmas with Grandpa, Grandma, Nana & Papa! Brooke is in LOVE with babies now! She sings them to sleep, feeds them, pushes in a stroller - I love it! She's such a spitfire but has a real sweet side when she wants to! Brennan's new love is books! He's usually bouncing all over but will sit still and read a book for an hour! I love this picture of Grandpa and Brennan reading :) Landon opened his present too! He's starting to get the concept of holding onto something and pushing buttons, making progress! Hailey was a big help too - reading everyone's name and passing out presents. She gets bigger everyday!

Christmas at home! Hailey woke up first again so we were able to have time with her opening presents. I love having that one on one time with her, she's handling having to share the attention really well but I miss spending so much time with her! Brooke & Brennan were up next and really got the concept of opening presents! This was really big for Brennan - he's working so hard on his fine motor skills! Landon got up last and wasn't in a very good mood...the others were more than willing to open his presents!!

Our usual tradition on Christmas is to go out in search of eggnog ingredients. We switch back and forth, who goes in the store/gas station and we see how far we have to drive to get all the ingredients and make homemade eggnog. We had some pretty worn out kids so didn't attempt it this year, but my parents came down and brought some! There's nothing better than homemade eggnog! We did venture out for dinner, found a restaurant/truck stop open and had a really good time! It took forever to get our food, but the kids were really well behaved and just had fun! To top it off, a lady came over to say hi, compliment us on the kids (can you believe it!!) and ended up paying for our meal! We wished we would've known when she was there so we could've thanked her! Nich & I figured when our kids are old and grown, we'll have Christmas on another day and do the same thing for a family. It was such a blessing!

Catching up!

WOW do I have some updating to do!?!  I uploaded my pictures from my camera and had them back to the middle of September!  

 

Brennan said his first word!  This isn't the first time, but a clear video of them playing together and Brennan saying "Go!"  He's definitely behind talking, but making progress.  His words aren't as articulated as Brooke, but he's starting to repeat the syllables.  It's a start!  

Just some pictures, having fun! 

Photo session, the morning of their 2nd birthday!  Thanks to www.designedforbabies.com for these "Triple Threat" onesies!

 Happy 2nd Birthday miracles!! 

Pumpkin picking!

First toothbrush!  Hailey was a terrific teacher!  Brooke loves it, but the boys are way more apprehensive.  They're getting there!  I just bought a vibrating toothbrush for the boys hoping it will help with Landon's oral aversion and Brennan's need for lots of sensory input.  They're getting much better!

 I know, much more to update and I promise to be more faithful!!  Landon's got a few big appointments coming up with Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation later this week (we're hoping to get a bath chair, feeding chair and wheelchair/adapted stroller) and next Thursday DeVos Children's Intensive Feeding Program assessment.  It's like feeding bootcamp for 5-8 weeks and we'll find out at the end of the assessment whether he's a candidate or not!  I'll keep you updated!! (PROMISE!) 

Hailey's hospital turn!

Man oh man! So just to add to our crazy life...Friday night Hailey broke two little bones just above her wrist. She was playing with friends at a kids play place in Chelsea, having tons of fun when she got out of her chair, tripped on her beloved green blankie and fell right on the cement floor. She cried just a little bit when it happened, they saw that her arm was wavy and that bones were out of place, called us and took her right to the U. Nich and I had just switched Brooklyn at home, he went to work and Brooke and I were just going to hang out, but instead we drove back to Ann Arbor! Thankfully we picked up a friend on the way to help with Brooklyn and trekked on in.

When we got there, she and Josh were hanging out in the ER. Hailey had told all her nurses that she was a big sister and about all her babies. She always says she has 2 brothers in the hospital, 1 sister home and 1 sister in heaven. She is so sweet!! Most people don't know how to respond. One said "Oh I'm sorry." It's ok, Hailey's getting through it, it's her way of keeping Katelyn with us and she's ok.

She had eaten a couple crackers before she fell, so they had to wait 4 hours before giving her sedation! They moved us into a bigger ER room where they were going to fix her wrist. She watched them put in her IV even though the patient support was doing a great job trying to keep her distracted. She didn't even flinch! I think the babies get their strength from her sister too! A little after 10 they started her sedation and I stayed with her until she was out. While the sedation was kicking in she got a little scared because of the side effects. It was so hard, I think harder being there with her than the babies during their complications. She wasn't in pain, but she still knew what was going on and was so strong. We read books, colored (very creatively - thanks to Brittney!) and watched movies while we waited. Annette and Josh helped take care of Brooklyn so I could focus on Hailey.

They rebroke her arm, held it upright and wrapped it with a plaster splint. The xrays looked like they were able to align her bones straight as an arrow! We'll go back next week for a real cast. Here's some pics! These are from my phone...laptop will be fixed on Tuesday! Thanks Kate!

As she was waking up. It's the only picture I could get with the splint. She wasn't crying, her eyes were just watering from the sedation.

Fully awake! That's our Hailey! :)

When she was fully awake she got her rainbow popsicle did great! By the time we were discharged, Brooklyn needed to eat again so we went up to the NICU and let Hailey visit the boys while I fed Brooke. It was a really long night, but thanks to GREAT kids and GREAT friends it was as smooth as possible! I'll take more pics of her in her cast...it isn't slowing her down at all!

Girly Girls!

Growing up I was NOT a girly girl. I think that's why I've been blessed with one! :) Here's some cute pictures of the girls!

Grandma mailed Hailey this skirt & headband for Easter - SOO adorable!

She wouldn't let me take pictures of her looking at the camera!

She would while she was holding Brooklyn! They are just so cute together!

Hailey absolutely loves being a big sister and teaching Brooklyn how to do things!

Brooklyn laughs now! We're trying so hard to get it on camera and on video, but here's our best attempt so far! I love this stage! :)

After church yesterday, we were zonked! We slept for 3 hours! Now that's a Sunday afternoon nap! Even Spice (our cat) slept with us - all the girls!

Happy Easter from the Pollaks!

What a weekend! As most of you know, Hailey is a complete girly girl! She has been eye-ing her Easter dress in the closet for quite awhile (I buy their holiday clothes end of season the previous year for super cheap!) and has been so excited for Easter! Two weeks ago when she came down to visit, Easter decorations were out at Ronald McDonald and she asked why. I said because we're getting ready for Easter! "Easter?!?!" Since then she's been so excited!


We took the girls to an Easter egg hunt at a church in the area Saturday morning and Hailey had so much fun! Brooklyn did great too!

Hailey made the bean bag in the hole during bean bag toss! She's got quite the arm!

Nich and Brooklyn! What great sports!

Our little scavenger! She LOVED finding the eggs and really looked for them! They were actually sprinkled across the yard in plain sight, but she enjoyed "the hunt."

We were talking about what our plans were for the weekend and told her we would go to the Easter egg hunt and then next day go to church on Easter Sunday. I told her Easter Sunday is when we celebrate Jesus going to heaven. Being the thinker she is, she asked why we look for eggs on Easter too. I said because after Jesus died, people were looking for him but couldn't find him. Of course, "where'd he go?" I said, he went to heaven. "Oh! To make it for Katelyn!?" I just smiled and said yep, and for all of us too! That afternoon Hailey and I colored Easter pictures for the boys and she colored one for Katelyn since she couldn't come look for eggs. She wanted to go get a balloon that could carry her picture and a small Easter toy to heaven. She can't wait to get to heaven and see Jesus, Katelyn and Papa Art (Papa Heart to Hailey). What an amazing little girl she is!

After the festivities, we headed home for the night. It was so nice to be home!! Hailey & I dyed eggs and then got a little carried away and also did onesies and our underwear! She dyed everything and did a great job! She went to get her mixer because it was WAY more effective at mixing the dye before dipping! :) I'll post another picture of the finished products!

We can't forget the boys! :) Here's spiderman bunny Brennan wearing his ears!

Landon wasn't too keen on the idea either...Oh well, he's adorable!

Brennan, Brooklyn & Ann (one of Brennan's primary nurses) all sporting the ears!

More posts to come...with pictures! I got access to a laptop with internet and got all these pics uploaded! Our laptop's on the mend and should be back shortly!

From Pirate to Spiderman

You probably read the title and thought - what?!?! Brennan came through the second (and last!) eye surgery great today! Just came out looking a little funny...

Spiderman! :)

Both of the surgeries he extubated (bot his breathing tube out) in the OR and he's breathing on his own - without cannula! He's woken up well and tolerated the surgery well. The surgeon took a look at his right eye and it seems to be doing good. There's still a little bubble in his eye, but they're hopeful it'll go away and his retina will reattach correctly. His left eye was worse and the prognosis isn't as good, but what do statistics mean to the Pollak?! :) Don't get me wrong we understand the seriousness of what's going on, but there's always the God factor. We're praying for sight!

Also, wanted to share, our local newspaper featured a story on our family this past Sunday on the front page! Here's the link - it was such a great article!

Pictures of Brooklyn

Even though the babies are almost 6 months old, since they were 4 months too soon, they have an adjusted age. Really they're only 2 months old. Brooklyn went to the pediatrician last week and was showing off doing things a 4 month baby should be doing! She's got great head control, neck strength and the curiosity to keep learning new things!

Our developmental super star! Look at that strength!

Smiling! She's so proud of herself! We were all cheering her on!

Mommy giving Brooke a bath in the sink! Definitely not a regular occurrence - her infant tub is so much easier but we were without and she NEEDED a bath! She did great!

Sisters, best friends for life! I love this picture! They were mesmerized by Dora. Hailey was even explaining it to Brooklyn!