Saturday, August 29, 2015

Lesson on reliance and dependence thanks to a spica cast

We knew in advance Landon was going to have major surgery. The news was sprung on us pretty quickly but we had time to adjust, research and ask questions about recovery but no amount of planning can totally prepare you. Sure, the organizer in me wanted to know the surgical plans, how to diaper him after, what equipment I needed, his care schedule for recovery, along with about 200 other things...just ask Nich! :) But, planning only took me so far. There was a world of emotions, unexpected parts of this hospital stay, small complications, a bunch of things out of my control - just waiting outside my plans...waiting for my emotional breaking point. I've realized today, and appreciate the perspective of a journey of preparation versus shorter term planning. 

When the breaking point happened (and I can't kid myself, it always does - sometimes large, sometimes smaller, sometimes internally, sometimes externally), what do I do? Who do I turn to? Planning takes you so far, that's something I can do; but God prepares us...way more than we know. No matter the specifics, we can get through it because His preparations are the real deal, things that stick with you, mold you. That takes faith, that's dependence. All along, God's been preparing me, us really. Other hospital stays, surgeries, deep points, I've learned the long way, God's really the one who we need, who is in control, who's enough. 

So, I've had a couple breaking points already thanks to this darn spica cast and I'm not running from them or hiding them. They're reminders that I'm human and so in need of Him! When I'm exhausted, frustrated, scared, I have to consciously remember God's taking care of Landon and orchestrating this life. We're His hands and feet, but it all comes from Him.  I need to remember that He gives me peace when I'm scared, a clearer mind when I'm frustrated, strength when I can't get up to calm him again and He gives Landon comfort when I can't and peace when he doesn't understand what's happening. Our pastor talked about eternal moments - you can recognize them, when we invest in things eternal, see as God sees, act as God shows us to; sometimes we're the way He brings these things to each other. I see it when I do know how to comfort Landon, when he smiles after a tense time or laughs and shows me pure joy, through so many of your prayers, help with the kids, meals, visits! He's shown me so many times before - the beauty and peace that passes all understanding when we rely on Him.

In one way or another, I truly believe (and can see!) how God continues changing and preparing me for what's up ahead. Today, how oddly thankful I am for the difficult hospitalizations in the past that built up my endurance, advocacy and bond with Landon to be prepared for this spica cast. A quote by CS Lewis, that I'm sure I've shared before, just resonates with me - "God, who foresaw your tribulations has specially formed you to go through them; not without pain, but without stain." We're only at the very beginning of this recovery, and I know it's not going to always be pretty, but it's going to mold us. I pray it molds us well! 

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Hip Reconstruction Pre-Op

About 6 weeks ago we learned Landon needs a bilateral hip reconstruction surgery.  At that point, his right hip was only 20% in socket and the structure of the socket is not fully developed to hold the femur.  The tendons in his hip and groin area are really tight, so they'll cut and loosen them to add more flexibility.  It'll be about a 4 hour surgery, in the hospital for a few days and then recovery in a 6 week spica body cast.  I know recovery will be difficult, painful and long but we hope it'll be so helpful long term!

I've had time now to digest the shock and come up with a ton of questions!  At our orthopedic consult I had no idea his hips were so bad and that surgery was our only option.  Brooke came along for the consult and Landon was in pain from the assessment, there was too much on my mind to really comprehend what the surgeon was saying at the time.  It was probably a good thing - she helped ease hearing the news until I could understand more. :)

Today was his pre-op appointment - new x-rays, blood work in case he needs a transfusion, anesthesia consult...and answers to my questions!  I talked to another mom who's son had a spica cast and learned great tips for positioning and diapering and found tips online too!  The kids understand what recovery will be like, as much as any of us can prepare.  We're going to do our best to have Landon be part of as much as possible.  Recovering is 6 weeks in a body cast, roughly 6 months to get back to baseline (for typical development, we'll see!), 12 months to begin making progress again.  It was really discouraging, especially since he's been about his progress this season but we know this is the best thing for Landon to be in less pain and more mobility, and need to have the end in sight!      

Surgery Day in 2 weeks!  Keep him in your prayers!