Sunday, September 27, 2009

Remembering Kateyln

Let me start by thanking everyone for their thoughts and prayers! It is so good to feel so loved!

Our sweet little Katelyn went to be with Jesus this morning, around 5am after a really hard battle. She had been pretty rocky yesterday - getting her Potassium under control. It was really high and started affecting her heart and her lungs. She fought so hard. The nurses called us down around 2pm to be with her. We just cried and prayed as we watched the nurses give her chest compressions and use the bag to help her breathe. We were preparing ourselves for the worst. They were going to give her 2 more sets of compressions and then let her go. We witnessed a miracle and she came back! Her heart rate went back to 80 steadily, then they warmed her up and it was back to the 140 range. We literally watched God work. They nurses weren't touching her, but God's Almighty Hand helped our baby. We felt good and went back to the room to visit with Hailey and family. Later that day we checked on her again. She was have trouble, but no where near what it had been. We said goodnight and came back to get much needed sleep. Around 2am the nurses came back, saying Katelyn wasn't doing well again and we should go see her. Immediately, Mommy and Daddy strength kicked in and we were down in a flash to pray our baby through another rough time. We arrived to see the nurses and doctor just watching her. They had tried something, and all we could do was sit and watch. They again were preparing us for losing her. I just couldn't let her go! She was on the maximum of everything they could give, and her numbers were up again! Not just up, stable up. I physically could not let her go. I told the nurses for myself, I needed to see her numbers go down to know it was time to let her go. I couldn't give up because she was getting tired, I needed to know it was her time to go. After all, my baby was a miracle! Her numbers again stayed up, and we came to get more sleep, until 5am. The nurses came running down and said we needed to come immediately. She was doing bad again. This time they were doing compressions until we got there to watch her go. The HARDEST thing I have ever done or even imagined! That time we felt peace, and knew she was going to be in another place, pain free. They stopped compressions and let us hold her for her last moments. We just rocked her, kissed her, sang to her, everything to pour our love. We went to a nesting room and had alone time with her. We were both able to hold her, say our goodbyes and grieve.

Even though we have no idea why this happened, we have to contine trusting. Our babies are miracles and sent to us for a reason. We are so thankful for the near 3 days we had with our sweet baby and the special chance to say goodbye. Brennan, Landon and Brooklyn are all doing pretty well. Their sister cheering them on from above. We love you Katelyn!

"There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world."

40 comments:

Liz said...

Oh Jennie, I have no words except I'm so sorry, I can't imagine that pain...may God surround you and Nich with his peace.
We're praying for you guys and the babies, as well as big sister.

Bridget said...

Jennie and Nich, I know there is nothing anyone can say to you that lessons the sorrow of losing your daughter. But do know that I'm thinking of you as you begin the journey of grieving. Take care.

Cousin Bridget

Angie B said...

PRaying...Your strength is admirable...Rom 8:28...

Mom/Nanny said...

There has never been a more beautiful tribute to a parent's love and trust than you and Nich. Katelyn will always have a very special place in our hearts and in our family. May God's peace and comfort fill your hearts. I love you so much.

Kim Skaff said...

ennie and Nich, We just wanted you to know we have been following your blog and praying for you the last several months. Our hearts ache for you for the loss of your daughter today. Your strength and witness have been amazing to witness. Know that we will continue to lift you and your babies up. God is with you.
Love,Kim and Dick Skaff

Tiffany said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you and the other 3 babies remain strong. I know Kateyln will be watching down over you all!

Paula said...

Nich and Jennie,
I am so very sorry for the loss of Katelyn. You are right, though, she is cheering on her brothers and sister! God allowed you to see a miracle and I'm proud of you both for trusting Him to know what is best for your babies. They truly are a miracle and you two are amazing parents. Try to rest and know that God is holding your children in His loving arms. Love you guys!

Britt said...

I asked Nick if he wanted to write and he said "I'm not one with the words" I replied "There aren't words". We love you and we are amazing by your love for these babies and Hailey. We're with you constantly in thought and prayer! I miss her already!

King Quads said...

There is nothing to say except that we are praying for you. You will get to hold Katelyn again someday.

Take care of those sweet miracles. Congrats on changing Brennens diaper...aren't they soooo tiny!

Call me if you need ANYTHING!

Amanda Lang said...

Jennie, You are amazing! I read your Meme's facebook today and the picture she created of Katelyn and Art in heaven together is amazing. Can't you just see his smile holding her? I will continue to pray for you and your family during this time. Keep trusting in God!

Charity Donovan said...

I am terribly sorry for your loss & I continue to pray for you & your beautiful family.

jag said...

My heart is broken over the loss of your Sweet Katelyn. I continue to pray for your other 3 miracles.
With hugs and prayers,
Jenna

MelissaB said...

Jennie, and Nich I am so incredibly sorry to hear of the loss, i cannot imagine how hard that must have been. know that you are in my prayers and God is ever by your side through all of this.
hope to be able to come and see you guys soon!

Kassy said...

Your words about Katelyn are so beautiful and touching. She will never be forgotten, and I bet she's lookin down on her brothers and sister and cheering them on and giving them strength to hold on.

Misty said...

I have no words for you. I am so very sorry for your loss & will be praying for you & all of your family. My heart truly aches for you. I am in awe in your grace & love for your daughter.
much love,
Misty

The Denby's said...

When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above,

We mortals sometime question
the wisdom of His love.

For no heartache compares with
the death of one small child

Who does so much to make our world
seem wonderful and mild.

Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to His fold,

So He picks a rosebud
before it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but a few

To make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must try,

The saddest word mankind knows
will always be, “Goodbye.”

So when a little one departs,
we who are left behind

Must realize God loves children.
Angles are hard to find.
Romans 12:12
Bill & Rusty

Andy and Lisa said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. We are continuing to pray for you and your family.

The Carlsons said...

Jennie, I am so sad to hear of your loss! My heart grieves for you and your husband!! I know God loves and is watching over all of your kids!

We continue to pray for you, for Brennan, Landon and Brooklyn and for you, your husband and Hailey. May God give you and the kids his strength and perseverance in all of this. May he draw you near and dear to him!!

In our prayers!
-fellow quad mom of 18mo GGGG and a 5yo boy

Meg said...

Oh Jennie,
I don't know what to say but that
your family will continue to be in our prayers on a daily basis.

Cary said...

I am so sorry Jennie. I pray for your family everyday. Beautiful Katelyn will forever be with you and her siblings.

Jenny said...

i am so sorry. i have tears running down my face right now. I have been and will continue to pray for you and your sweet babies. May God give you peace:)

jenny

Jen Gienapp said...

I am so sorry for the loss of little Katelyn. I am praying for you all, especially for strength and growth for your three babies.

Josh and Teri Duggan said...

So sorry for the loss of your precious Katelyn. Will continue to pray for you and your family!

Rebecca said...

nich & jennie...we are so sorry to hear of your loss. praying for you two, hailey, landon, brennan and brooklyn.

Bret and Heather said...

jennie... so so sorry to hear about katelyn. we will keep you and your precious babies in our prayers. stay strong and look to Jesus :)

Heather Cox

Beth said...

I cannot even begin to understand the pain you are feeling right now. I am so sorry for your loss and I continue to pray for you and the rest of your family.

Beth Walker

Steve & Paula said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart dropped when I heard the news. God knew what He was doing giving these babies to you. Praying harder than ever.

Buggles said...

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss

Moni Graf said...

What a beautiful tribute to a very special little girl. I'm so glad you got to have 3 days with Katelyn and I don't doubt that letting her go was the hardest thing you've ever done. I love that God was able to give you a sense of peace during this extremely trying time.

Continued prayers for your family from the Graf Quads.

Love from KS,
Moni

mrapcomms said...

Jennie and Nich I am so sorry to gear of the loss of little Katelyn. Many many prayers for you as you mourn as well as for the health of you other 3 miracles!!!!!!! Dr. Makulski

Fulton Quads said...

Jennie~
I just wanted to say that you all are in my prayers! Prayer is an amazing thing! I cannot imagine how you must feel. I am so sorry for your loss. I will continue to pray! Stay strong!
Love, Cathy

onica001 said...

Nich and Jennie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you.

QuatroMama said...

I feel sick with sadness and grief for you, Jennie. Our hearts are filled with gratefulness for the 3 days you spent with Katelyn, and prayers for your sweet precious fighters.

Wish we were there in person to surround you with love and support.

God is faithful.

steven.dunning said...

Jennie and Nich, I am so sorry to here about Katelyn. I heard the news yesterday at Church and it took my breath away. Reading your blog put a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I can not imagine your pain. I thank God that you have him to fall back on to support you and comfort you in this time. My wife and I are praying for your entire family for peace at this time in your life and for God's special touch on Katelyn's brothers and sister that still have a long way to go.

God bless,

Steven & Lois Dunning

Amy-Jo said...

I am so sorry for your loss, my heart is breaking with you. We are praying for you and your family.
Amy-Jo Sather

The Cochran Crew said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers!

BrandyB said...

Jen and Nich,

I'm Brandalyn. I work at Starr in Albion. I am also friends with Kelly Heath, we go to WestWinds together.

Let me start off by saying how much you have been in my thoughts and prayers. My family is even praying for you and asking for updates on your status.

Secondly, I can not imagine how you must feel right now or what you're going through but my heart aches so much for you and your family. I know God knows what he is doing but I am so sorry you had to experience the loss of your sweet, precious Kateyln.

I'll be looking forward to your updates. You are in my prayers.

Hugs, Brandalyn

Ama's in Denver :] said...

Jennie & Nich.

I just want to say what a great example you are for so many of us. Not many people are able to be so vulnerably open when blogging. While many of us will never know the extent of what you are feeling, know that many are praying for you. For strength, encouragement, and a seeking heart.

Continue to rest in the arms of God, as he is hurting and crying with you. Continue to love on Brennan, Landon, Brooklyn, & Hailey. Be lifted up & blessed in this time.

Amanda

The Clifton Family said...

Praying and so very sorry! God is MIGHTY and FULL OF WISDOM....You guys are loved.........

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

Nich and Jennie,
We have been praying for you at our church (Bethel Baptist in Jackson) and I think of you all SO often! Even though I don't know you personally I feel very connected to you and God has brought you to mind time and again.

Six years ago I gave birth to twin boys at 25 weeks and we lost our first born, Joshua, when he was 10 days old. I know this is such a difficult thing to go through! Praise God for your faith in Him that is sustaining you!

Our Caleb, who was 1lb. 8oz. at birth, is now a 45 pound 6 year old in kindergarten. He amazes us every single day!

If I can do any thing for you guys please let me know.

And of course I will continue to pray.