I know it's been so long since I've posted last, I'm feeling a bit accomplished and back on my game. We've been overwhelmed with work, appointments, sickness...just life! But I think I'm back on track! I know you are all waiting for a baby update, but trust me that takes awhile now! Plus, Nich knows a lot more if their development, weights, etc anyway, but PROMISE it will come!
I did want to share an epiphany God laid on my heart yesterday at church. I promise Pastor Phil, I was paying attention, but what really got me out of the service was the song Enough by Chris Tomlin. Lyrics go - "All of You is more than enough for all of me. For every thirst and every need, You satisfy me with Your love and all I have in You is more than enough." That is so true, but I haven't been feeling it lately...I think that's why I've been off my rocker. So I've been struggling with my life. My life as a wife, mom of a preschooler, mom of multiples, mom of special needs children, mom/sister/granddaughter of loss, mostly the last one. Nich I had this idea of a big family, (a healthy one - in the past I didn't even think I needed to clarify!) a complete one but a year later our lives have been turned upside down. I know we are so blessed with the children we have, the miracles we've witnessed and life we're living, I just long for Katelyn, Joe and healthy normally developing children. So while I was thinking of all of that, I remembered Paul praying for contentment. He knew what it was to be in need and to have plenty, but says he has learned to be content in his circumstances. He learned the secret of contentment - Jesus! (Philippians 4:11-13). That's now my prayer, for contentment. This is my life, no matter what I long for and cannot change. Once I accept my circumstances, no one or nothing can steal my peace (I did get that from the sermon!! :). Then I am not easily distracted by what might have been and solely focused on the opportunities I now have to grow and share through our circumstances. We have been connected to so many through what God has brought us through and are so thankful to share our journey! Back to the song..."You are my supply, my breath of life. Still more awesome that I know." He's the basis and the secret of my peace and contentment. Today I put a reminder to be content and be used! Thanks Paul for sharing the secret at just the right moment!
On the other side of grief
2 years ago
4 comments:
Thank you for your honesty and truthfulness. Your words provide encouragement and healing for so many people. I too long for what can never be, but choose peace and contentment for what I have. You and Nich, Hailey, Brooklyn, Brennan, and Landon are God's blessing to me.
I completely understand what you are saying. No matter how busy I am our how happy my children make me I still feel like there something missing and there always will be. It is hard to make peace with that. I'm glad you are working towards finding contentment, I know it is hard.
thanks for the reminder! :) God is taking care of you and everyone.
there is beauty in your honesty. thank you for sharing.
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