Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Keep pressing on

I should be sleeping but can't...I watched Suprisingly Quints on TLC as I was waiting to start Landon's Gtube pump for his overnight feed. Nich wasn't feeling well and doesn't like watching multiples shows anymore so he went to bed. I think his comment and my emotions as we're getting close to celebrating the day our life got turned upside down, got the best of me and I just can't sleep. Sometimes we can't help but long for life with four healthy babies.

There's been so many discouraging things happening in our lives and Nich and I are kinda run down that it's been really hard to keep pressing on. Keep going yep...that's easy just feeding and changing babies diapers over and over, but pressing on...seeking God and his plans for our family. That's been tough. Hailey starts preschool tomorrow and as excited as we are for her, it wasn't the program we were thinking it was. We're trying to find all new doctors because our insurance changed at work and our network doesn't participate in the new insurance. Landon's not eating by bottle hardly at all anymore. Hailey's been asking more questions about death, much bigger than I can answer right now. Reminders of how crazy our lives are now and how big (to us) the challenges our children have to face are.

When we were in the NICU, Brennan, Landon and Brooklyn were fighting for their lives - breaking the "23 weeker" box over and over! Now we're seeing the challenges Landon and Brennan have ahead and have to work through them. Landon's delays and Brennan's vision - those are pretty big things! It's been hard to keep pressing on when faced with such huge challenges. I guess that's the same with any difficult thing we're facing. From the very begining, God has had our family in His Hands. He's been cheering them on and pulling for them! We are so thankful for the little miracles they are but we need a boost! Lord, give us strength and hope for the rough road ahead. Keep our eyes focused on Your plan for our lives and our family. You will give us this strength if we focus on you! Help me remember these discouragements are just that, but You give us Hope for the future!

9 comments:

Novabella said...

Your road is hard but you have many, many people cheering you on. You are really good people and you wouldn't be human if you weren't discouraged. Sending you a hug from a very far away place (Nova Scotia).

Nicole said...

You will need alot of strength. But I'am sure you will get and give alot of love!

Suzy said...

With this post, you have shown us a very human side, yet also a trusting, believing side that I know can only come from your faith in Jesus Christ. He gives us the strength to be content in all circumstances, and I know that He has a great purpose for your family. Already, He is using your brave and positive spirit to touch readers around the globe. I have no doubt that He chose you to be these children's mother for a reason!

Jen said...

We are praying for the Pollak Family. May God fill you with strength for all the hard roads now and in the future. May he fill you with peace love and understanding as to why you are facing such tough times. And may he give you resolution and healing in heal matters! God Bless you all.

carrie said...

It's perfectly understandable to get discouraged at times. However, I know God chose both of you specifically to parent these babies, and you are the perfect ones for the job. Your strength of faith shines through in your posts, and it is clear that you are seeking His will and understanding, and not leaning on your own. Please remember that so many are holding your whole family up in prayer, and also know what a wonderful job you're doing! Hang in there!!

Rebecca said...

praying praying praying!

Angie B said...

yes God has a plan and he with you along the way and MANY people praying for you :)

Britt said...

I love you and your children, I'm so glad you are a part of my life and it wouldn't be the same without the babies! I know you are making Jesus smile with the amount of people's lives you are touching just by "keeping on"... the "pressing on" will come... you have lots of love surrounding you to help..... The exciting steps that babies are making don't seem like they're happening as fast - but they're still happening!

I love you soooo stinking much Jennie!

2 Little Footprints said...

Missionary Amy Carmichael made a strong point in "Rose from Brier" that it's words from the sick to the sick that are most encouraging. Thanks for sharing from your rocky place.
I trust the vulnerability you share will strengthen someone who needs it and draw the prayer you need from Our Father.